By: Bianca Kamath

17th July, 2020

I was always proud of being Indian. We were always described as exotic, intellectual, multi-faceted and I took great pride in it. But along with that glamour came the expectations of belonging in a certain ethnic group. As an Indian, I was expected to be multilingual and multi-talented, traits which I sadly didn’t possess.

I couldn’t speak another language besides English and neither did I possess extraordinary talents. I felt like a fraud. I tried to validate my insecurities by buying Kurtis and jhumkhas, but it did nothing but fuel my shame. Material items wont instantaneously make me a new person. Surely, I would look the part, but I know I won’t belong.

To an extent, I believe that immigration and migration play a prominent role in this, especially for children who were born and raised in that country itself.  In my experience, if your mother tongue is not ingrained with you during your infancy, that connection is lost forever. Being fluent in your mother tongue enables you to communicate better with relatives, which strengthens the roots of your culture.

It may seem over-dramatic and to an extent I agree, but I’ve come to realize that kids my age are plagued with the same feelings. This is one of the main cultural problems faced by my peers: we are stuck between two worlds: the culture that runs through our veins and the culture we have to assimilate in. We feel disconnected from one culture while being forced to adapt to another. This is why many teenagers may feel like they are “not Indian enough”. Luckily for teens living in places like Dubai; where majority of the population is Indian, we don’t struggle as much in finding like-minded peers who understand what we’re going through. The same can’t be said for people living in Western countries, where minorities are significantly less. Surrounded by people who don’t understand what it means to lose your cultural identity, these teens have to internalize these struggles and sadly deal with it on their own. Even their own parents will struggle to understand as they were also raised in a completely different culture. They are truly isolated.

Shows like Never have I ever, highlight the struggles faced by Indian- American teens, albeit in a dramatized fashion. This is made more prominent in the episode, “Never have I ever felt super Indian”, wherein the main character, Devi celebrates Ganesh Puja, a Hindu festival. She shares her frustrations about her culture with her peers who do not reciprocate her angst. she tries to make fun of Bollywood dance in an attempt to seem cool and fit in, but is met with annoyance and the comment, “You shouldn’t be insecure about your culture”. It is easy to hate on Devi for not appreciating her culture, but we fail to realise that she has no one else to talk to about her feelings of shame and cultural isolation. As teenagers, we already struggle enough with fitting in, trying not to give in to peer pressure and overall, trying to figure out our identities. Being a POC, we also have to deal with the added shame and guilt of not integrating our culture in our daily lives.

But, let me ask you this: how proud are we of our culture, if we don’t appreciate the fundamentals of it i.e, clothing, dances etc.? Do we just like to say we’re from another country in order to gloat and say we’re “exotic”,  or we are genuinely proud of where we come from? Whether you realise it or not, we are drifting away from our culture by becoming “americanised” versions of ourselves. Initially, its subtle, wherein we wear more western clothes, but it escalates to the point where we are not able to share anything about our culture to future generations.

So let us start embracing our culture and integrating it throughout our lives. What would life be without a little bit of spice?

Till we meet again- Bianca

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