By: Ferdimah D’costa

12th May, 2020

Ever since this quarantine began, my head feels like it’s been placed in this precarious spiral. At first, I was uncertain about how long this was going to last, what was going to happen next, what my future would hold and most importantly, whether life would go back to normal anytime soon. I spent the first few weeks in quarantine doing absolutely nothing, unsure of whether there was anything left to do. All I did was sleep, eat and watch tiktok, which I’m pretty sure many of you could relate to.

Then the days started passing by and it was apparent that things weren’t going back to normal anytime soon. A two week break from school had turned into a never-ending quarantine and we went from being ecstatic to hoping that all of this would just be over. But it wasn’t. Once this realisation set in, it turned hectic. All of us were confused on what to do, with many of us never being in situations like this ever before. It seemed like everything just lost its meaning. But then the stress of “what next” kicked in, making us over-think everything we could have done if not for the virus, what we should’ve done before the virus had spread, and what we’re going to do now.

You see, I was left thinking for days about my grades, regretting not trying hard enough to make them count and not being the “smart one” everyone expected me to be. I was too laid-back, waiting for my final exams to show my capabilities; exams which, to my misfortune, never came. I was stuck with the results of my lack of effort and I felt like a failure and a disappointment because of them.

I blamed the virus for robbing my chance at redemption, for taking away the things that brought me so much happiness and for putting me in a spot where I had never felt so vulnerable and powerless in my life. But, I was just looking for something to blame. We tried to find explanations in an attempt to make everything go back to normal. The truth is, none of us know about “what’s next”. We’re all just living in this huge question mark. But it’s something we can’t change, no matter how hard we try.

In these difficult times, I’m glad we’re finding ways to help each other and remain positive. Companies are providing free services in order to help out and promote staying at home, content creators are sharing ways to keep us entertained and productive, which is quite crucial in this time of physical isolation, we are more focused on our well-being, we’re sympathetic to one another’s situation and constantly try to help each other out. If anything, quarantine has helped unite us. In the end, we’re all in this together.

Ciao- Ferdimah

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